filling up minds with despair
through the dregs of addiction toxify this fucking earth
concrete lives and chemical low degradation my children of hell shall convene
there giving up blood to survive
so they fiend and they beg to make everything different it seems so wrong
and I wont make any promises that I can't keep to you
but one promise I can keep you'll never take my soul
to the thieves that make it all possible to the sickening heretics and the ones
who slaughter there own
to the most righteous of murderers the loneliest who sacrifice dreams into fires
daylight bends into nite at illusionary moments and the one who barely survives
will eventually be the voice
that is taunting and screaming leaving you void of your dignity now whose
believing
never make a hopeless man do
Hope hopeless things
never take your life into your
own hands I say
lack of fear means lack of faith
so what do you believe
I am not ashamed of who I am
I am not ashamed...
I couldn't ever believe in a word you say delicately when you speak it fades
away no one can stop me when I'm in this state
these entities demented
fantasy of a harmony so discontent premonitions of your eyes so evident
bled dead you cannot trust me
death engulfs eyes blood soaked twitching deformed
damn your gun feels so good when its down my throat
and it feels even better as it blasts out the back of my skull
now you will know what it feels like to live in fear
couldn't be the color in your eyes
delicate deformities so deep inside
never gonna be the one who hides from entities
I crave
I need
I'll do anything...


2. Till The Morning Light

I took a little bit and now I need some more I swear I heard your voice coming
up thru the floor rain on the window pane and blood is on the door and I've
been staring into my shadow for two days or more I forgot your name your the
one I love walk to me quietly invisibly forward show me your hands I don't care
who you are I'll lay in heavens arms once and for all but in my darkest of
dreams I do the things that paint this room red and I wont ever give in until
the candle burns right through my hands but in my darkest dreams I do the
things that paint these eyes red and I wont ever give in...Don't you dare hold
your breath for many only speak and then do nothing in the red of eyes in the
dead of nite stare into infinity and watch it collapse from the pale and
bloodless look the innocent lives you took back to where they belong in the
arms of hell back to where they belong...and I awoke disfigured and I prayed
that the sun would never shine and I resemble a savior transmuting into another
kind premeditated unconscious enclosures searing deep into my retina destroying
the innocent everlasting melodious prophecy 7 minutes to the hour let darkness
fall on this place where we dwell did I awake or go to sleep I can't tell don't
even speak there's someone in the hall thank god he's finally come to kill us
all demented
and decomposing devilish darkened and deconstructing deanimated desensitized so
detrimental in denial and beauty the haunting lament of the foreboding searing
deep into my retina destroying I swallow razors and drink the blood of an angel
drank a little bit and I had a vision pathetic prolific ways I fill my pockets
with all these incisions now I've been locked in here for days but its not all
that simple when I keep falling in love with the mistakes and I'm afraid that
I'm awake and fate is floating above screaming on down to the second floor cause
I got this fear let me hear ya say screaming on down to the second floor that I
need some sleep let me hear ya say cause I got these visions...the humanity in
your eyes as you begin to realize your frailty's photographs in the back of
your mind there they will dwell...marking in beauty and kept only for deception
I sink my teeth into every single love that I've had mark this day...the
attributes of this ritualistic prison cover your windows in blankets that you
tore from your bed...hiding shaking never resting pale as walls your thoughts
are etched in crawling on the ground I'm searching for someone to take
me...back to where we belong...


3. Somnambulist

blood of the fallen, a somnambulist wretched and prophetic slaves to the
system who carves out her own eyes with razorblades leaving a blister it takes
form evaporative translucent prisms reflecting they shatter infesting all I see
in a tongue I lace with insanity a phantomous illumination I will never be
painted on the walls with the blood of a paranormal cataclysm I will never see
feed upon the saints and eradicate the elemental sacrificial bones that break
in a dream of isolated ambiance I find myself in cold sweats wide awake cause
I've got punctures in my lungs gonna tear me out fucking rip me out suffocate
disintegrate love will never penetrate these walls I build with my symptoms
conniptions inflictions a slave to my symptoms Denial- I'm just fine don't
touch me clairvoyance- these beings confront me through violence I am
deconstructing my soul by removing my eyes from my skull just to see or feel
something hallucinogenic pathetically craving what kills me and destroys the
voice that's relentlessly echoing carving a vision of what once was, what has
been could be anything but these purple angelic pupils that haunt my dreams
wide awake and falling asleep where I stand I'm the saint who prays with slit
wrist at midnite for the moonlight for the sunset for the experience of the
sickening decay if I had a reason just to breathe another breathe I wouldn't
need this phantomous illumination deep inside painful accusations resonating
thru these conversations spoken in the tongue of psychotropic demonized pitiful
acidic catastrophic condescending paranoid delusionary penetrating finalized so
murderous the conversation that I heard between the voices venomous and
complicated somewhat fantasized
I could be the one to hold and love and uplift u or I could be the one to
devastate disintegrate and move to impale u I feed on the wounds that my manic
episodes do heal or dig further too reveal the degenerative failures inside all
of u I'm fucking digging in my soul I'm fucking carving out a hole I'm the
saint who prays with slit wrists at midnite cause I've got punctures in my lungs


4. Illumination

And I really don't think you know who you are so I reach out my hand but you've
fallen to far and you choke on the love that you
claim as your own but in darkness you still feel so alone and I wonder when
you'll realize all the frailties of your life My soliloquy of decadent disarray
the bloody snow from the fallen angels that now surround me the candlelight is
burning
Will I ever get what I need or am I destined to crawl below
The candlelight is burning the candlelight has been burning for days
Break break break these are the weapons I forge from all the disgust that I
hold deep in my heart and I cannot escape it its digging
deep and its paralyzing you look so pitiful and useless here
7 days to realize just what you are the silence is so deafening
And when you fall back down I'll meet you are you breathing
So I'll take it and I'll squeeze it and I'll shove it way deep down in my chest
I'll never give it up for anything I'll never give it up
Paranoid, paralyzed, all your faith lost inside
Devastate mesmerize
And on the day when I realized my own humanity I sat down on the sidewalk which
ran along the streets which I have dwelled for so long
And although it was 2am the streetlights were illuminating so brightly I
could've sworn it was just before the break of dawn oh but of all the
transgressions that make a man so defeated inside each moment lost in time
I dug my knuckles into the pavement and the wind began to blow
All the love all the fear walk alone shed a tear you will know who you are on
the edge of the earth I am meek we are strong sun reflects ambiance broken
hearts ruined dreams bound by what we conceive devastate mesmerize no more pain
no more lies you will know who you are on the edge of the earth candlelight
burns away never thought id see the day finally you realized
And every thought that you have resemble the lies that you tell yourself
Delusionary and insolent your manifesting you every fear
Dwelling into your narcissistic state of mind oh but the suffering will no
longer behold you all your love all your life
I am your deepest fear infesting all you experience searing vibrant within
these walls and that's where I'll stay forever


5. Of Blood And Grace

Climb in between the dissonance crouch down and cover your head the impact is
drawing near the sacrifice u made in absolute purity slain in mercy and stained
with regret Will I ever become just who I am?
All these painful delusions I
live with And I dream more then I
could ever live so I crumble and I suffer You wont forgive me you wont forget
this you'll always remember I'll stick the blade in and twist and turn it take
it out and show you your reflection in the side of the blade the last
temptation the final revelation staring into the mirror looking back at myself
as the resolution fades in and out of consciousness my pupils enlarge my spine
is contorting this sacrifice this sacrifice is all I have a dialogue drenched
in vanity incinerated dilated marauded landscapes tongues torn from their mouth
I can still hear them speaking dig out with a needle this lifeless reflection I
promise to always be your perfect failure redundant and blessed under shards of
ice get down on your knees push your head down further beg to be exalted
sacrificial malice look straight up at the sky I still can't fucking hear
you..Sacrificed in the name of God Sacrificed...I've got visions that make me
twitch sow another stitch shovel one more ditch someday I'll die in the name of
it oh but my skin is numb to the cut 'a continual sacrifice this shame that
dwells this shame that dwells...separate the body from the mind these places
you'll always remain a shattered distortion of blood and grace play the fucking
victim you wear it so well...no more will I breathe no longer will I see...cause
here in this moment I cease to exist...and you may find yourself beyond the
boundaries of this universe balancing between the stars that light the way oh
but in reality you've separated yourself so tell me what do you have left to
behold?
this is the last chance for your malice and your redemption so tell me
what you've
truly become staring into the mirror looking back at myself staring into the
mirror looking back at myself resolution fades seeking forgiveness for all that
I've done


6. Requiem

As I open up the door to find you I blink and then your gone given to infinity
blanket in meditative obsession memories now do race through my mind symphonies
of thought I'm unable to find to fill the void between my soul and my thoughts
here is how it all began

You tortured heart left to trembling hands that tried to grip the sand locked
in an hourglass the gray shapes that blind you the demons will find you and
lead you back home you satisfied the craving when all your raving lunacy
brought you to your knees and I still remember the words you spoke you'll never
leave And I'm still waiting for you to return but the truth is your better off
locked far away

And as I look beneath the floors where you once dwelled I'm finding evidence of
how you must have felt a book of photographs containing your own face but
missing your eyes and piles of razorblades and by your bedside lays a book of
half finished venomous scriptures tale of calamity and crumbling existence
humanities frailties and divine resistance and as you know watch me wander
through madness craving all my complicated festering sadness believing all
these walls are closing around me echoing all these thoughts back through my
head I'll satisfy the craving when all my raving lunacy brings me to my knees
and I still remember the words you spoke they'll never leave Lay on your back
in cloudy fields of forever look at the clouds in brilliant patterns so
clever disintegrate into the earth and remember the feelings we shared about
our sickening surrender and I just don't know how to explain what you took when
you left me a piece of my mind my soul my breath my existence leaving only
moments tattooed in my memories and for the love of god I cannot accept what
infinity took from me I cry out on theses sleepless nights hoping that you'll
somehow feel my energy you satisfied the craving when all your raving lunacy
brought you too your knees and I still remember the words you spoke they'll
never leave.


7. Oxygen

Deep in the stillness of the storm
I lay my body down to rest between these particles of oxygen in liquid form

To leave my home behind and walk to the place where I first believed
all along the way I past where I fell in love with oxygen
and I though that I knew what it means to be fearless to be grateful
all along I merely dwelled in the crevices of the hands that hold me down

Deep in the stillness of the earth
I lay eternity down on its back
and wrap my hands around its neck
to try and choke out

Untie me from this chaos I'm bound to
these memories I walk thru
sanctity, clarity that I found
when all I did was breathe

Remember what it feels like
to be stripped of your dignity
in the moonlight shown
in the light for what you truly are
no more secrets your are exposed
and the lunacy that's coursing through your veins is blacking out your

on move on away

Deep in the stillness of the storm
I lay my body down to rest between these particles of oxygen in liquid form


8. No Conscience

Suffer with me here child, let me tell u tales of lies and love and destiny and
then I'll watch u swallow the pill hallucinate deep in yourself and tell me how
it feels to be alive stare in to the eyes of a lunatic and say how does it feel
when every vein in your face splits and runs rite down your spine crawl into
the body of a demigod and lay down between the third and fourth vertebrae and
chew thru the bone Stare in to the eyes of god and begin to say I don't fucking
believe in you walk into the gates of hell and begin to pray that when the gate
shuts it cuts your throat with your body right here and your head in hell
Suffer the consequence of your sinful actions straight from the hand of god how
does it feel?
To be in an altered state no conscience now I can begin to
execute the malevolent heavenly one and then speak to apparitions in a tongue
born of a malcontent demented anomaly dying inside of me altered state no
conscience tell me how it feels to live a lie everyone I love I will randomly
eradicate for when I twitch and salivate my hands continue to shake I can
barely breathe completely numb to every word you say oh how I love to suffer
three days of night buried underground stare into the sun don't ever look down
for in the moment that your eyes are adjusting your fears will consume you
paranormal
state, subliminal embedded fate, a tortured encrypted sadistic and blistering
wound that's been inflicted as I Suffer the consequence
of my sinful actions straight from the hand of God and now you will know how it
feels to be wretchedly addicted to the sinful decadence that's transposing
within What I'm believing is what I am thinking and what I am thinking is how I
am feeling how I'm feeling is how I am living and where I am living is where I
am dying and I raise my hands straight up to the sky and it burns down my arms
away slowly enveloping my soul with a flame that can lacerate and degenerate
the essence of faith in me Suffer this consequence emotionless with no
conscience and my father says I'm so worthless and my father says I'll never
be free and I never have felt so alive then the day that I snapped back my neck
and I died stared into the eyes of the Lord and screamed father please help me
oh what have I done suddenly a lucid and paranoid anomaly begin to dig and
reach deep inside of me removing my identity conscience and memories so I can
commit these murderous things emotionless Rape me of my innocence take the
little piece of hope I have and turn it
into a thousand blades of divinities eloquence but if I can speak what'll I
say and if I can't hear how will I know it an altered state no conscience.


9. Just How Far Down Do You Wanna Go?

If I could I would rewrite the concepts of never ending memories out of context
fading visuals of lethal injections and the most beautiful angels who dwell at
the doors of infinity and cry rivers of blood that envelop me I suffocate for
the ones who cannot breathe I'll scream and shatter my soul just to believe
I'll tear apart my own vision and tranquility to blindly twitch under moonlit
divinity if the sky opens up and you levitate open your arms rise don't be
afraid In the darkest night what a beautiful sight as the impossible does blind
you softly falling out of the sky knife deep in your eyes the impossible does
blind you softly syncopation reacts and the spine retracts and the impossible
does blind you softly with two holes in my head and one in my heart everyone
can see inside me How Far Down Do You Wanna Go?
How Far Down?
close your eyes
and inhale the voice of forever exposed in fright colliding fused interlocking
exposed in fright I travel on at mind-bending velocities way past the assumed
unapproachable infinity become a nonexistent molecular atrocity gather remains
suffocate resurrect I just don't believe I crawl I scratch I beg and I still
pray misery enveloping and suffocating never-ending corneas accumulating
staring back at me and I fall for it so deep never has there ever been another
being that without words can carve circles inside me spoken in tongues so
deviant that I fall for the reasons and treason's that mutate like seasons
compelled to somehow emulate the feelings that do trickle down my spine in
sickening rituals the visuals that repeat in my minds eye echoing below
the voices and the choices that bring my will back down to its knees colliding
with the evidence that I suffer when I cannot see blinded by psychotic neurotic
deafening psychosis that will not stop until I commit something so sick oh
would you mind if I carve you gently oh could I gouge out your eyes softly oh
would you mind if I fucked you softly oh could I somehow scream you to sleep
emulate evaporate the consequence of false events and calculate the stimulant
hypothesis scratching out my own eyes choke and twitch sow the stitch from the
memories of all of this these are all the holes that I bleed to feed with hate
and greed for I can still not for the life of me satisfy the hunger it burns So
where's the love that I need forever when those walls do collapse?


10. Paradiseum

All the light fades away darkness now will decay every being on this earth I'm
entranced by suddle ways movements and glances my way haunt me in my dreams
live life like a dream where nothing is quite what it seems the light in your
eyes does gleam burn bright for all to see describe with words that do so
softly take me away to another day crawl through my disarray and find myself
Somewhere beneath the clouds deep stares serenely sound similar to prophetic
lunacy when we fall away rise and return someday our paths are intertwining In
everlasting sun rays walk with the spirit unafraid and let the vision begin
Paradiseum.


11. Acidic Epiphanies

This is the resurrection of the defeated in eleven years of suffering the
cycles completed and a broken pathetic violent soul is now breathing darkest
animosity and the purest of meaning the murderous parasitic call of the
bleeding What do you see when you sleep my dear a thousand faces that do change
from a pale dark star To blood red oh but its all a fantasy only lost inside a
dream will you find reality and locked between what you see and what you feel
in time will lead you into the depths of the heavenly divine Staring into a
corrosive paranoid display of shadowed mirrors darkened sunlight and bloody
decay I've dwelled in shadows and walked among the living dead only to rise
above all the lies that you spread you spread nothing but absolute hatred and
despair risen from the ashes I am now aware This is the revelation of the
unneeded who finds himself in an acidic reality breathing the hopeless and
frail accusations that are feeding darkest animosity and the purest of meaning
the murderous parasitic call of the bleeding how long till you play the victim
again your fucking hideous form will never tear another tear from my chest
built upon a tragedy wish you would open your eyes it deeply saddens me and
when the heavens do fall open up your arms and say I always knew that my life
would fucking end this way Staring into a pathetic effigy inflamed by every
tortured encrypted soul who cries in vain those who will do in the name of what
they don't understand those who live breathe and strive realize that they
spread you spread nothing but absolute purity luminous blades dreams of the
love of the kiss I know longer belong to this world calm suddle vibrations drag
me by my neck across this darkened sky gotta let it go I belong to the sky as I
drift and I dream and it feels as if I am dead levitating through caustic frail
pathetic kinetic pollutants and vertigo gotta let it go There's just no way you
can make me for when I twitch all alone only then can I never has there been a
soul that can reach me for no matter how cancerous you seem to be can't let it
go this visual painted in blood can't let it go I'm built only to deconstruct
not to function echoed paralyzed devastating corruption perils tear my soul
from my limbs I can't feel them no more tears lies love fears heartbeats love
it's broken Metamorphosis reserved only for the gods I've been changing
pinnacles of excess to the moonlight to the sunlight infest my body separate my
soul from this earth because I can't let it go this visual painted in blood can't
let it go.