you smiling, drowning in joy
I reach out my arms; beg to touch your face
But you stand there motionless
Waving from the other side

Childhood memories: tears of happiness in my eyes
Sitting in the middle of a crowded room
Around me joyous faces -those who loved me
They are all here for me -I'm the pride of the room
Beautiful paintings on the walls
Someone throws a match into the fireside...

Where are they now? Please, tell me!
As this pain cuts me in two
And nobody is here to heal my open wounds
Alone I am dying, alone I am crying
I pray for time to come and take
The remains of what seems to have been me...

Even the shadows of time have abandoned me
They left terrified by the empty look
On my scarred face
Time has forgotten me
I'm getting older every day but I never die

"The time has come to end your life:say a last goodbye to the world"
"I can't do such a thing"
"What are you waiting for? The world doesn't need you. Die like a honourable man"
"NEVER! I shall live and learn to bear this damned pain!"


2. Don't Mourn

Don't mourn now
for your lost life
and what did you do to deserve it?
it was just a bitter gift

Pull yourself together
and with your last strength
make a final prayer
thank for the precious present...
death

The emptiness
consumed your weary soul
ate you from inside
like a parasite
But death came
-like a prince on his white horse-
and set you free with a last, sweet kiss

Don't dwell now
like a ghost
around your dead body
flee into infinity

My God-forgotten love,
finally we'll meet again
when our both souls
dissolve into infinity...
death awaits

No time to dwell in limbo...
shadows are here to get you
how they want to embrace you in their cold arms
and drawn you in the pool of tears
of those who suffered because of your sins

Follow the right path
which leads to the astral constellation
where your soul enters the gate
before the light dies away
Save yourself from them
the creatures without a shape
have followed you in your last trip

You are safe again
you entered the portal
their black arms couldn't get you

Wait for me there
as you sit motionless
with you arms around your knees
you are free now


3. Time

It's time to move on
Time to leave my shelter
And step into this world
I had turned my back to

Time to find some joy
Time to share some happiness
My God, I forgot how to love and hate

Is this the world?
Is this my new shelter?
How could I base my hope on this?
Where can I find
Some light into this darkness
How can I build the fortress of truth
On a foundation of lies?

It's time to say goodbye
Time to move back into the shelter
I created for my own good

Time to cover my eyes
Not to see the faces
That betray their cold indifference

But I shall return to burn their houses down
-the houses built on lies and apathy-
To claim back my place I have never found
To break the silence
With a cry of desperation


4. Envy Us

We, the dead, can not understand
Why these mortals don't envy us
In silence and peace we rest, but we don't exist

We have so many things in common
Why are they afraid of us? We can't understand
Our lives are over, theirs have no meaning
What have they got that we don't have?

Beautiful is our realm
Our kingdom no one can resist
In solitude's eternal bliss
Together we shall not exist


5. Curse The Morning Light

From a crack on my sealed window enters a ray of light
It falls down at the foot end of the bed
that I'm not going to leave (any more)
I curse you morning light, spot on my solitude
No one here to mourn with me the loss of hope in this life

The light that brings the day reminds me that I'm dead

I want to break out, I want to be free
And leave behind these chains that keep me captive
My life a ruin, it has ruined me
I smell my soul rotting; it fades away with the years

O bastard life, for too long you fooled me
You made me believe that you are worth to live

A growing fury, a growing pain
enveloped my soul, paralysed my heart
love is a lie, hope is a morbid joke
every day the same old song

I want to break free from this vicious circle
To hear some words of comfort, to breathe some joy

I have passed the point of no return since long:
The gravity of this black hole is too strong
Look at me, disappearing within its darkness
My God, it hurts more than I could possibly imagine!

I must cope with the emptiness
Which has weaved its web around my soul
I've sunk in the abyss of desperation
And yet I'm here, a fool among the fools

The hour has come...
the angel of death looks me straight in the eyes
like a basilisk
He stands there staring
with empty gaze- like an ancient statue
and tries to break the shield
which guards my empty soul
But all those joyless years
have eventually dried my tears
drained every emotion of my well-worn body
which slowly rots and disintegrates
The angel smells the stench of slow death
disgusted, he disappears into the night
I cut my flesh with my broken nails
enjoy the fluid of life flowing
The cancer has left my heart
and yet I'm more than ever dead...